Why Muppets™ Suck

When people hear me putting down the Muppets™ they assume it's out of jealousy. Nothing could be further from the truth. My problem with the Muppets™ is that they have forgotten their roots. They've forgotten that it's not about the money, it's about the art. I mean, I knew Kermit back before there were Muppets™. He was just another puppet trying to make it in "the biz". He hung out at all the puppet hangouts just like the rest of us, hoping to be discovered. Then he got that gig on the Ed Sullivan Show and it all changed. Suddenly, he wouldn't take my calls. Suddenly, he wasn't just a common puppet anymore, he was the CEO of the Muppets™. I dunno, I guess it wasn't quite so bad when Jim Henson was still alive. After his death, Kermit seemed to change. The Muppet™ name began to appear on everything. Their projects became commercial. They lacked heart. I mean, I haven't laughed at anything the Muppets™ have done since The Muppet™ Show went off the air. So call it jealousy if you want, or call it sour grapes, or whatever. In my mind, the only good Muppet™ is a dead Muppet™.