Have you seen "Socks" on TV lately? Strutting his stuff as the 1-800-BAR-NONE Sock Puppet, flirting with that good-looking redhead. Grrr... Of course, he's always been a self-promoting little weasel, willing to step on anyone to claw his way to the top. Nobody's saying this, but he single-handedly drove Pets.com into the ground with his outrageous salary demands. What could they do but pay up? He was the John Elway of Pets.com. But I knew him when he was just another aspiring sock puppet in Hollywood, drunk every night and puking in the gutter. Back then, he wore a cheap Citizen watch around his neck, not that Rolex he flaunts now. You know, it was me that sent him for the interview at Pets.com. I had a scheduling conflict, and I felt sorry for the guy. That should have been me up there! Bastard. And did he ever even acknowledge the debt he owed me? No! Instead, he tosses out his given name ("Bernie Crewsock", of all things!), and calls himself The Sock Puppet, just as though he's the only one of us who counts! And the 1-800-BAR-NONE Web site is just full of promo videos of the little schmuck (just click on his picture, of course!). I'm sick of him. I hope moths get to him (and that's the strongest curse one sock puppet can call down on another).Flash! The Denver Post has published an article titled "Worst TV Ads Ever". Guess who made the list? "Bar None. That sock puppet is as annoying as ever. No second chance for you." Yes!