Triumph Kept From Pooping On Democratic National Convention

I love my old buddy Triumph the Insult Comic Dog. We've spent a lot of late nights together, drunk and on the prowl. Even though he's not a sock puppet, he is a puppet, so I make allowances. After all, we go way back to the early days in the Catskills, appearances on the Steve Allen show... *sigh* those were the days. Anyway, Triumph landed himself a sweet gig with reason.com to cover the Democratic National Convention. Thing is, before they even got started Triumph was led away by two burly cops and tossed out of the place! If he was human, this never would have happened! I tell you, someday we're going to rise up and take our proper place in society! (BTW, don't ever mention the pets.com sock puppet to Triumph; even though it was dismissed when pets.com went bankrupt, Triumph is stilled pissed about the lawsuit.)